One of the hardest blows you can absorb is being served with divorce papers when you had no inkling there was a problem in your marriage. Most of the time, both parties in a couple are aware their marriage is troubled — but not always.

But if you are (in your mind, at least) happily married to your spouse and get the bomb of a divorce petition dropped into your lap, you may wonder if you can avoid getting divorced. What is the answer?

No one can be forced to stay married

While this is not the answer that you likely wanted to hear, in reality, it is actually a good thing. It keeps victims of domestic abuse from remaining legally tethered to their abusive spouses and frees people to discover happiness in their post-divorce lives. Let's explore how you can work through this devastating time and emerged unscathed but wiser.

Is couples' counseling an option?

It could be, but generally, by the time one spouse has already filed for divorce, their mind is already made up and they have emotionally moved on from the marriage. While you might be able to drag them into a few counseling sessions, the likelihood of saving your marriage at this point is slim.

What about delaying tactics?

Remember when you were a child with a Band-aid covering your wound and you tried to slowly peel it away and your parent quickly ripped it off? Yes, it was painful, but the pain didn't drag on and on and now the healing could commence. That's a bit like trying to delay your inevitable divorce. It's better to face it head-on and end it.

Focus on your best moves

Despite your emotional trauma, now is the time to act rationally. This means that you need to retain a family law attorney who can legally advocate for your best interests so that when you are divorced, you will have what you need to start a new life.