Your divorce is a big change for you, but it's also a big change for your children. In a short time, their entire world is thrown into a tailspin. It likely isn't possible that you can shield them from the difficulties that are coming, but you can help them to address them in a suitable manner, so they can thrive.
When you're divorcing, you have to make many of the decisions based on what's best for the children. One of these is what type of relationship you'll have with their other parent. Being able to come to terms with the fact that you're a parenting team now is important. There should be set standards for communication and respect. You can show the children that you intend of working together starting when you tell them about the divorce.
Focus on reassurance
Some children think that they are the cause for their parents' divorce. You and your ex will have to reassure them that the decision to divorce was based on your relationship with each other and not because of them.
Prepare to answer questions
Your children may have questions about the divorce. Some of them want to know what's going to happen now. They may ask whether both parents will attend school plays and other events. Being able to give them honest answers is important, so work on the parenting plan as soon as possible. Remember not to make promises you can't keep.
Teach them about emotions
The kids will probably have a host of emotions when you tell them. Help them recognize what they're feeling and work with them to find ways to move through those emotions.
Keep negative talk away
While you might not get along well with your ex, they are still your child's parent. Don't badmouth them or speak negatively of them in front of the children. Offer your kids support if they have any concerns about the other parent.
If you believe the current parenting plan is simply not working or is no longer in the best interests of your children, your attorney can explain what is needed to have a new parenting plan accepted by the court.